My new favorite quote

I've been feeling kinda down these last two days. I have no idea why. My guess: A combination of competition stress, several tests in school a day, the passing of my cat, and my sorry joke of a love life. But, as always, there's one thing that makes everything better: dance. Whenever I'm at home I feel really down and... somehow just not like myself. At dance, though, everything just sinks away. It's pretty amazing, really.

"Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!"
-My Best Friend's Wedding

For some reason I keep remembering this quote, and it helps somehow. It's so, so true. In any case, it's my new favorite quote. Exciting.

Thanksgiving - A soup of Joy and Sorrow

Well, I definitely got well-rested. I guess that's a joy.

I'll start off, though, by saying that it did NOT go as planned. I was hoping to spend it with some old friends who I get to see very, very rarely - but that didn't work out. Upset, but not completely discouraged, I accompanied my parents to a family friends' house. There I played wii for the first time - it was quite a unique experience. Of course, nothing which actually produced the desired result of winning on the game system resembled any kind of physical motion I would do in real life. For example, in boxing, all I had to do was beat the air furiously and randomly with my fists to get in some blows at my opponent. When my beating became milder - when I got tired - I was knocked down instead.

The only other intersting thing that happened Thursday night was that my cell phone fell on the ground and broke. Thus, I had to go order a new cell phone. Since it was free, I ordered a Razr with an MP3 player on it. I'm not quite sure why I got that particular cell phone, especially with the MP3 player on it, as two days later I decided to get an IPod Nano with some saved up birthday money (my actual MP3 player had also recently broken). Again, not bad at all.

I'm going to end this post abruptly. Here, right now. I'll suffice it to say: the phone had no MP3 on it. Bah. (yes, I'm writing this several weeks after the rest of the post)

Random Thoughts

Change. It's been occupying my mind for forever. Specifically, people-change. There are so many ways to look at and classify it that it actually hurts to think after a while. I started thinking more intensely about change after I felt that I myself had changed this summer. I think the most drastic transformations I've gone through have happened in high school. I came into high school hopeful and rule-abiding. I despised middle school and could not see any way that another school experience could be worse. My hopes were not disappointed - I started liking high school immediately and I must say that, if anything, my appreciation of Newton South has grown. So - change. My sophomore year I suddenly started seeing things I had hoped I would only see in my worst nightmares. My friends - old, close friends - began doing things I never imagined they would do (in a bad sense). So, I shut myself behind a locked door and didn't budge all year. My excuse for avoiding people - people that I was afraid would disappoint me - was homework. I always had to do homework.

This summer I felt another change come over me. I think my shut-in-edness reached its' peak at Cape Cod - I refused to go anywhere near my friends at night. I stepped away from them and, watching from a distance, dubbed them "stupid teens." Now, before anyone criticizes me for being a hypocrite (because I, obviously, have come nowhere near escaping that heavy title), I never thought for a moment that I was in any way less "stupid." If anything, I felt like I was something worse - I had chosen not to belong and I had effectively created some kind of "unknown" category for myself. I knew that this was also, somehow, incredibly stupid. Whatever, I have no point to make here. I shall move on.

After that, I went camping for a week at Lake Luzerne. Now, even though this was my third year and I shouldn't have been expecting anything different to happen - as always, this didn't stop me from hoping and hoping and looking forward to something new. This year - I got it. I think something in me snapped. I already mentioned my addiction to homework and staying away from people that I felt belonged to the category that many teens are ascribed to. I had done this all of sophomore year and several times more vigorously during my two weeks at the Cape. I guess I just couldn't take it anymore. The first two days camping, I remember some part of my brain struggled viciously to keep order in the surrounding chaos of the wilderness. I had to brush my teeth after almost every meal, I had to take an hour to read, and I had to go to sleep strictly at 12 - regardless of what everyone else in the camp was doing. Like I said, soon something snapped. I don't think there was any one moment when I decided to forget all of my strict rules. I just decided one day that I liked these people, and I liked this place, and that I was only going to be there for another five days. I thought, okay, so I sleep for a total of eight hours over the next several days. So what? I have two weeks before school starts to get into the norm. And other thoughts like that.

Basically, I ended up not sleeping, not reading, not brushing my teeth after every meal, and not doing a lot of other things I had set out to do - and do I regret it? Not at all. But, the funny thing is, if the old me - that is, the me before the summer started - had been watching me at Lake Luzerne, I think she would have regretted it quite a bit. The new me - the me that came out of that experience of letting go - felt quite good about it all.

So, I came to school a much happier (still homework crazy, but more relaxed) person. I think this was the first time I had ever really felt myself to be a different person. Prior to this, every time I was aware of a change in myself, I had come upon the realization that I was different because I remembered how I used to be and I couldn't even begin to associate my current self with that past self. This time was different - I knew when the change had happened, and I could still understand and associate with my former self. I had no idea how long my new self would last - and it turned out not to be as long as I would have liked.

Change is such a strange thing - what makes us change? What moment, what feeling, what person/place/thing? How do we define change - in terms of who we become, in terms of who we used to be, or in some other way? How do we decide whether or not it's good or bad? And isn't that decision in itself subject to change, since our perceptions of the good and bad will probably morph with the change itself?

Just some food for thought. Hope I got someone hungry!

What the Bleep do we Know?

The title of this post refers to the movie we've been watching in gym class (don't ask why). The movie proposes several scientific/philosophic theories for consideration, each one revolving around the central idea: thoughts and perception can change reality. The theories presented in this movie are highly controversial and, I must say, the quality of (acting in) the movie itself is not great (it's part documentary and part story). Nevertheless, the ideas played with in the movie have been bouncing around in my head for a while, and it's only fair to give them some consideration.

So. The part of the movie that struck me most spoke of our ability to change reality with our thoughts - based on quantum physics. Basically, according to quantum physics research, when we see something, a certain part of our brain activates in order to interpret what the eyes are seeing. The same part of the brain activates in the same way when we close our eyes and imagine the same object. According to the movie, this implies that we don't actually know when we're really seeing something vs. just thinking or imagining that we see it, since the images we "see" in our mind when we think we are "seeing" what's around us are really the brain's interpretation of information from the eyes. In orther words, our eyes can be seeing one thing, and our brain can be showing us something entirely different.

Furthermore, the movie delved into the idea of the "observer effect" and delved into several bold conclusions. It discussed the following idea: if an object is not in our reality, we cannot see it. Its example: the chief of a Native American tribe who had never seen a European ship before. According to legend, he noticed the ocean water rippling from an unknown - invisible - source. The ships appeared to him only after he observed the ripples for some time and finally concluded that some sort of giant water craft had to be causing them. Whether or not this is true...? - well, I'll just say that I'm refraining from comment on the movie's credibility.


Nevertheless, the movie followed through on that idea to several more wilder (if possible) conclusions. It suggested that when we can't see an object that is, for example, behind us, it doesn't have a position. It played with the properties of quantum physics to show that since everything is made of atoms, and since atoms are made of almost nothing (with their mass concentrated in the center at the tiny nucleus), our minds are actually the deciding factor in determining where the positions of those objects are. It also mentioned that, according to quantum physics, an atom can be in two places at once. It went on to conclude, therefore, that when we have our back to an object, that object can be in several different places at once, since it lacks a fixed position determined by our mind (because, philosophically speaking, unless an object is part of our reality, it might not really be there in the first place, and if it is, since we are really the only thing we can be sure exists (the rest of the world may be a figment of our imagination), we can techincally manipulate the objects around us). From there, it went on to say that we actually have the ability to change our surroundings since, philosophically speaking, each one of us knows for a fact ONLY that we are the only person who exists in the world/universe and everything else might as well be a figment of our imagination. Thus, everything around us is subject to what our minds percieve it to be, and is, therefore, also subject to what our minds want it to be.

These last several ideas had me thinking. Suppose, for a moment, that all of the above is true. If we really do have the ability to change our physical surroundings, then why don't we? According to the movie, in order to do this we would have to undenyingly accept the fact that we CAN - with every single fibre of our being. Due to our nature and our inborn instincts, this is almost impossible.

So - this last comment is what really triggered my imagination. If we really could get our minds to accept their ability to change their surroundings, we could make ourselves, say, walk on water. Or, we could make an object exist in two places at once. Or three. Or four. Or... everywhere. So, why can't we? Well, I think the problem is that this physical manipulation of everything undermines all of the basic principles upon which we were built, upon which we evolved, upon which we exist. If we were to try to make a chair, for example, not have a fixed position and occupy many different places at once, what's to stop the chair from becoming us? From becoming the world? I don't know if this makes sense outside of my mind, but I think that there's a reason that we can't change our reality. I'm not necessarily referring to God, or nature, or anything else that's controlling our ability to do so - I just don't think we're wired for those kinds of manipulations, and I think that it's for a good reason. I don't think we would be able to control the power that such mind control would unleash, and I think we would eventually destroy ourselves if allowed to wield such power.

I could go on with this for another several pages or, probably even the length of enitre blogs, but... I'll just stop here :-)

New TV Show: All About Dancesport...

So I heard recently that a new soap opera-type TV show came out in Russia. It's called "Derzhi Menja Krepche," or, in English, "Hold Me Tighter." And it's all about the crazy world of latin and ballroom dance.

Truth is, for a long time (way before this show started) I wondered why no one ever made books, TV shows, and movies about Dancesport and the life of a latin/ballroom dancer. And I'm not talking about Shall We Dance or Take the Lead, but rather about a more raw, truthful take on what a dancer's life is really about. I don't have time now to go into details about this, but I think the subject definitely has potential as a TV show or book of some sort.

I mean, there's so much drama - partners splitting up, new parters getting together, the tiring and seemingly impossible partner search process, dating in couples, dating between couples, competing couples, training, coaches, bias at competitions... And there are so many parallels to life that it would be interesting for a wide range of audiences, not just for dancers. It's such a juicy topic, and it's a wonder no one's explored it creatively yet.

Hot Yoga

Hot Yoga.

Before I start, you might want to know what in this world could have possibly motivated me to try it. I admit, it does sound kind of scary, once you get the full description. Well, I started because I do pilates at the same place. And I started that because I dance, and I want to condition my muscles. So I guess everything comes down to dance. Actually, I've heard rumors that dancers really started taking hot yoga seriously after Slavik Kryklivyy, a world finalist professional dancer, started doing it himself - and discovered that it helped his dancing.

Now, onto my experience.

And what an experience it was. I can safely say now that I know what clouds feel like when they rain water down on us below. Wow, I have never sweat so much in my life. And I never knew that you can actually do exercise in 98 degrees. Of course, it was more posing and stretching than exercise - but add the 98 degree temperature and you get a full workout like you've never done before. My first class, yesterday, felt like hell - the heat got to me about halfway, my legs and other parts of my body started falling asleep (I guess my body circulates blood less in high heat), and I didn't feel so great when I walked out of the room because the A/C wasn't on in the rest of the studio and it was still hot outside.

Today, I decided to try hot yoga for the second time. Yes, I'm crazy, two days in a row. Surprisingly, the room felt nowhere near as hot as yesterday - my body was able to adjust to the heat faster. I also knew some of the poses and their names, so I felt more confident and found that many of them came more easily to me. Best yet, at the end of the class, we were given about 5 minutes to just lie flat on our backs on top of the mats while the room cooled down. It was extremely peaceful, and I didn't want to move a muscle - and I definitely didn't want to get up and leave. When we walked out of the room, we found that the A/C had been turned on in the room outside - and it felt absolutely amazing. My entire shirt was so drenched in sweat that it changed colors. I might as well have taken a dip in Crystal Lake.

So, overall, I highly recommend hot yoga. I felt, and looked, as if I had lost several pounds by the end of the lesson. I also felt thoroughly relaxed and conditioned. I truly think I am a hot yoga addict, and I can't wait until next time.

Try it - and make sure to try it twice!

Summer. Reflections.

This has been one awesome summer. Maybe I say this every year, but I believe this has been the best summer so far, period. What's made it so special?

I'll review.

1. France + Germany (and a 3-hr bite of London)

Paris was nice. I can't say it was my favorite place ever, but it was nice. The architecture was pretty, reminding me of a mix of Amsterdam's high and narrow streets and Prague's "old Europe," antique-y mood. The people weren't too polite, though, which made it a little cold - socially. Also, whenever I tried to speak French, they always reverted to English. That was annoying - it didn't give me a chance to practice. But, surprisingly enough, when I tried hard to listen to conversations (it wasn't eavesdropping :-P), I could actually follow along much better than I predicted. Overall, there wasn't really anything in France that I particularly enjoyed - except, perhaps, the top of Montmartre. On this wonderful hilltop we visited a Salvador Dali exibition and got to see many street artists at work. It was quite a lively atmosphere, and it was much more interesting than most other parts of Paris.

South Germany was... a jewel. We first visited Saarbrucken, the town where my Dad worked for a year at the university. It was small, and nice, and quiet, and it immediately made me feel cozy. But this was nothing compared to where we went next. Our next stop was Bacharach, a town consisting of two streets that ran parallel to the Rheine river. The weather was not in a good mood and didn't feel like showing us any sun, but that did nothing to dampen our spirits. Bacharach is the tiniest and coziest town I have ever been in. The food is superb and, especially after Paris, amazingly inexpensive. The food in Paris simply does not compare. The people are much, much warmer - and, most surprising for a small town, they are incredibly up-to-date on everything and very intelligent. One of the restaurants' owners even gave me Sudoku tips. From Bacharach, we traveled down the Rheine in a boat to another equally tiny town, St. Goar. There, we explored the ruins of a 1,000 year old Medieval castle. In fact, the entire road along the Rheine that runs through Bacharach and St. Gore is dotted with hundred and thousand year old castle ruins. Just think, it took us only a few minutes to travel between castle ruins by boat - and a thousand years ago, each castle ruin was a community - a kingdom - of its own, with several thousand citizens living in the hillsides around. And all of these different kingdoms with different allegiances, only mere half-miles from one another! It's so strange to think about that, considering the sizes of and distances between the countries existing now. I guess that, in a way, this is a shrunken version of modern Europe - which is also a collection of governments that share borders with one another
After St. Goar, we visited Marbourg - the town where the Grimm Brothers went to university. We stayed at our friends' house, and I quickly made a friend of their son, who is currently in college studying chemistry and wants to study at MIT (hint hint to anyone who has MIT connections :-P). His father is a professional tourguide (and a mesuse (sp?)). He gave us a tour of Marbourg - a tiny city with a giant of a history.
From there, we drove over 8 hours down the Autobon (at 112mph, I might add - most AMAZING car ride ever) to Munich, to stay with the relatives of our friends in Marbourg. There, we were given a tour of the city by kids (in their twenties, though :-P) of the family, and by their friend - a young man who, we were later told, is apparently a genius and will someday be awarded the Nobel Prize for major accomplishments in physics. Truthfully, Munich didn't make as much of an impression as did the other places we visited in Germany, but it was still very nice. Also an interesting history, and many nice churches and views.
After Munich, we flew home - and on the way stopped in London for several hours. There, we visited Hyde Park and observed the proceedings at Speaker's Corner. A British man wearing the Chinese symbol of communism on his hat was advocating their system of government, while a few steps away from him, a black man with several bodyguards scorned America and the UK while advocating something I didn't have a chance to hear.

That was the end of my overseas adventure.

Then, I spent two pretty uneventful weeks at Cape Cod - where my biggest accomplishment was, I'd have to say, getting more tan than is usually possible in only two weeks of sun.

After that came the best part of my summer - camping at Cape Cod in upstate NY (at Lake Luzerne). I've never had this much fun there before - and the reason I was able to this time was probably because I just... let go. I was so tired of rules and regulations and self-administered standards that I simply dropped them all by the second day of camp. It wasn't anywhere out of the normal to go a night or two without brushing my teeth, or without sleeping. It was completely ordinary for us to sing until 4 in the morning until we were taken, one by one, by fatigue. It was so relaxing, drifting off into sleep - or, at least, into a feeling of blissful peace, while lying there on the beach at night, counting shooting stars and constellations, and basking in one another's company. This camping trip has been the best in my life - it just let me relax and forget everything. I feel that if anything, this has best prepared me for the upcoming school year. I can work myself into the ground with homework now without fear.

So, I feel that I'm ready now, after this wonderful summer, to start anew.

Goodbye, summer of '07, I hope for many more wonderous summers to come.

Last day of summer vacation

So, I was thinking to myself earlier today: What should I do on the last day of summer? It should be something significant, something symbolic of the awesome summer I've had this year. I spent the whole day racking my brains for something to do. I ended up going to a delicious Thai restaurant with Yulia, and then to dance.

It was a nice day, overall, but I still felt like it wasn't symbolic or significant enough to end the summer.

Then, on my way home after dance, I realized: What is most representative of my summer vacation?
Probably something I've done a lot.

And that, obviously enough, is watching TV and doing nothing at all.

So, to end this short post (which is a pretty shameful waste of space), I'll just say this:

Doing nothing ROCKS!

Life and body: a perfect diet

Like most teenage girls, weight is something that crosses my mind every once in a while. Perhaps too often for my own good.

Dieting.

I hate that word, but I nevertheless force myself into the process it defines quite often. I haven't tried any book diets or any special diet food. Instead, I get tips and advice from various health journals/websites and improvise from there.

What works best?

A combination of the following:

-Eating in moderation.
Everyone tells you this. Everyone knows this. Yet almost no one does this. Why? Because when we see a plate full of food, it's really, really hard to stop yourself in the middle and tell yourself, "That's it, I'm done. No more." It's so hard to leave half a plate of food just lying there, wasted!
Although this is the hardest thing you can do, it also works best. Eventually, if you give it enough time and patience, you won't find yourself craving the same gargantuan amounts of food as before. You'll be used to, and content with, eating smaller portions. What's the best way to get yourself into this habit, though?

-Use smaller plates.
Don't try to force yourself to leave half of your meal on the plate. It doesn't work unless you have a very strong will, and even then, it probably won't work every time. Instead, you can play a trick on your brain. Instead of using a larger plate and filling it with food that you will feel compelled to eat every last cubic centimeter of, use a small plate. When you fill it up with food, it still looks like a good, filling meal. Allow yourself to finish every last bite. You'll feel satisfied, but not overly full (oftentimes, if you feel you're still hungry after eating what seems like a reasonably sized meal, it's a false alarm - the feeling will go away in about 20 minutes). This way, you can trick yourself into eating smaller portions - just don't let yourself refill the plate once you've emptied it. I've found this works well because it's easier to stop yourself from getting a refill than from stopping yourself from finishing what's right in front of you.

-Don't eat after 7.
My mom always used to tell me this, but I never paid much attention. Now, I'm on a new diet, and this is one of the key parts.

Some good snacks to eat without compromising a diet are (especially if it's after 7):

-Nuts - just not too many. Good for making you feel less hungry, and you only need to eat 3 or 4.

-Fruits - eat as many as you want. Nothing bad, diet-wise, will happen to you if you eat a few apples, bananas, etc. when you're hungry. I like them even more than nuts - I can eat a wider variety of them and more of them. And I guess they just taste better :-)


The most important part of the diet I've found to be most successful is LESS SUGAR. I am a crazy sweet-tooth - and I've found this to be my one downfall in maintaining/losting weight. The first step is to remove desert from the daily menu. It sounds horribly cruel, but it works very, very efficiently. I once found I lost about 5 pounds in a week because I took sugar out of my diet entirely. As hard as it sounds, it's harder to do. In order to ease myself into the sugar-free diet, I still put sugar (a lot - *guilty grin*) in my tea. I also eat a lot of the sugary but low-calorie and fat-free meringue(sp?). It's delicious and takes away all of my cravings for any of my usual deserts. Then, after a while, I stop eating meringues and drink juice instead of tea. Natural sugars are fine - I just stop eating unnecessary, added ones.

Of course, nothing works better with the aforementioned suggestions than exercise. I'm a dancer, and I have to admit that I don't go to the gym much since dancing takes up most of the time I have for exercise. Occasionally, I run around my neighborhood when I'm taking a break from dance.

Oh, by the way, speaking of dance - I highly recommend it as a very, VERY good way to loose weight (especially if you combine it with a diet, or with the tips abovce). Ballroom dancing, specifically: it's really, really fun and a great way to meet people. What can be better? You're moving around, not even noticing the fact that you're burning calories, and at the same time you can be conversing with your dance partner.

Wow, I think this might actually be one of the longest posts I have ever written on any one of my numerous blogs.

Well, this about does it.

Hope it helped.

I'll try a book review

Yes, in my last post I promised to give the results of my color film experiment... but I didn't really have time for it today, seeing as it took me long enough to finish the 26 B+W exposures left in my camera.

So, instead, I'm going to try a book review.

I just finished reading Tony Hillerman's A Thief of Time.

This book follows the stories two Navajo policemen as they try to solve the mystery of an archeologist's disappearance. The first, Joe Leaphorn, has just recently lost his beloved wife. Depressed and with no excitement for life, he prepares to resign from his job - but a few weeks before the date he is to leave, he suddenly finds that he is interested in this case. Jim Chee, a young man new to the Navajo police force, is also assigned to the woman's case. Together, they find out what she was researching - Anasazi pots - and try to unravel her whereabouts and why she disappeared, both of which are related to the pots she was trying to find.

This book goes by pretty fast. I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing, but if you're looking for something that isn't time consuming, this is it. There are many slow parts - actually, there really isn't much action at all. The language itself isn't difficult (I don't mean it's simple or easy, though), which elimiates the frustrations evoked over some novels due to wording that is hard to understand. Many parts of the novel describe Navajo traditions and beliefs, which are interesting - but I found them at times a little confusing and not well-explained.

Hillerman does a good job of character development for Leaphorn, changing him during the course of the novel from a depressed, sulky individual to one who regains interest in life. Yet I also feel that some characters were not characterized well enough to make their actions make sense at the end of the novel when everything is unraveled. A big discovery Leaphorn (and we) makes seems to make sense because the author drops several big hints about it, but when I think about the motives driving the character concerned, I come to the conclusion that the character didn't have the right characteristics to pull it off. I can't really say more about this for fear of spoiling the novel.


Overall, as far as mysteries go, it's a good mystery. For me, there wasn't enough drama, or action, or anything else (this makes sense, since it's a mystery novel - but it's nice when a novel incorporates aspects from genres other than the main one, since this makes it appealing to a wider range of readers). I'm personally not a big fan of this book. I guess if you like mysteries, go for it. Otherwise, if you like reading mixed genres, like me - I don't recommend it. It was well-written, but at the same time, I didn't feel there was much "in it". No food for thought, really. Nothing made me go "wow" when I closed it for the last time. Personally, I'm more for "wow" books myself.

I guess I'm just used to reading books in which every detail about every character is explained and makes their actions seem almost inevitable to the reader. Obviously, this doesn't work in a mystery novel, since the "who" behind the actions isn't revealed until the end. I just can't find much to analyze in this novel. And I just realized how horrible that sounds - my English classes have turned me into a reader who can't enjoy a book because she has to analyze everything!!!

Okay, well, I'm going to go and try to get rid of that ugly habit.

Au revoir.

Only 3 more days

I'm running out of time. Okay, rereading that sentence, it probably sounds like I'm about to die from a fatal disease. And maybe I am, because once school starts, the summer-happy part of me will probably die.

But anyway: Since I'm running out of time, I'm feeling a little guilty. I haven't done nearly enough photography this summer. Mr. B will probably kill me when I get back. I mean I've shot about three rolls of film - over two months. I'm ashamed of myself.

Of course, I have an excuse: I was away a lot of the time, and my camera's batteries died, and I couldn't get the right kind anywhere except Newtonville Camera.

But forgetting excuses for a minute, I definitely could have tried harder.

Also, in my last post, I decided that over these last few days of freedom I will try to spend more time outside. For once, I'm actually going to do what I said. Right now, my family and I are going to Nantucket beach with Andrey's family and a few other people. And guess what, not only will I be spending time outside, not only is this the perfect opportunity to finish the last 60 pages of Uncle Tom's Cabin, but I can also do an experiment!

Let me explain. I'm almost out of Ilford black-and-white film, and I need to shoot. I NEED to. So, I'm going to get color film from CVS for the first time. I've never shot with color film before! Not for artistic purposes, anyway. I am EXTREMELY excited.

Well, time to run - I'll post the results of my experiment when I get back!

Countdown... there are four more days of freedom. I'd really love to fill them all up with FUN, which is something I will be lacking for about nine months starting on September 6th. What shall I do?



Well, of course, most of my time will be spent dancing. But then, what? A lot of my friends are already in school, so I won't be able to do much "hanging out." I have a feeling that I should spend as much time as possible outside, since soon that will no longer be an option, as I will be cooped up inside of NSHS for a very, very long time.



These thoughts make me think. During the school year, when I'm insanely busy, all I really want to do is relax, watch some TV, browse the net... in other words, do nothing. Now that summer is here, I'm relaxing all the time... That is, my day consists of: several hours (usually 5 or more) of TV, and when the headaches start coming, I make my way over to the computer. When my eyes start hurting, I go dance. When my legs give in, I go home and read. And my day is over.

Relaxing? Well, I don't know. Now that I have time to do whatever I want, all I want to do is get a job. Do research. Read more. Do something useful. Use brain more. I guess I won't really know how "relaxing" my summer was until I go to school and wish for it all back again.

Funny. Strange. And one of the worst parts of human nature, because both sides of the fence are equally barren... Or maybe they're equally full of painfully green grass, so painful, in fact, that one must shut his or her eyes. And not see the grass. For fear of becoming blind from its brightness. And wish they were on the other side. But, lo and behold, the grass is just as green over there.

What interesting philosophy. Be nice if I wasn't the millionth person to think of it.

Okay, done ranting.

Goodnight, and see you on the other side.

Life: Continued

Okay, so, the thing I was waiting for happened. A volunteer orientation at Newton Wellesley. It doesn't sound exciting, but it was! I don't know why, but for some reason I really want to do some kind of work and/or help out at a hospital. I have a weird pull towards it. I don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with my obsession over Grey's Anatomy? And ER? And House?

No, I don't think I want to become a doctor, or a nurse, etc. Or maybe I do? I don't know. I just really want to try something new, and my thought process is: If I like all of the above medical TV shows, what are the chances that it's just a coincidence? I like more than the drama, that's for sure. So maybe I like the medical cases in the shows, too (even if, as I've heard tell, they're often unrealistic and would be impossible in real life)? In any case, I do want to volunteer somewhere (don't forget those college aps!), and why not here?

I like Newton Wellesley Hopsital. It's got a nice atmosphere. And of course, I want to take any chance I can to learn something by doing it and by observing it, rather than from a textbook.

Speaking of textbooks, school starts in a week. I am NOT ready for Junior year. Or maybe I am, with all the SAT prep I've done this summer, and all the math I've learned (or have pretended to learn :-P) at Cape Cod - the camp. Wow, all this indecisiveness really tells a lot about my self-confidence. Great. Well, in any case, my strategy this year will be the same as last. Just more extreme. Homework will probably take over my life.

Bye bye, life.

Oh, eventually I'm planning to post a story I wrote last year - it was for English class originally. I really like it, and I'd love to get as much feedback on it as is possible, that is, with the squashable amount of views this blog gets and all.

I'm keeping the world in suspense until then.

A Year has Come and Gone...

Has it really been a year? I feel like I walked into Newton South for the first time just last week. Somehow, freshman and sophomore year just blend in my mind. They feel like one continuous, homework-laden schoolyear. That's probably why my last post was at the beginning of freshman year - I've been working nonstop since then.

What's happened to my life?

Well, I guess I'll be logical and start with dance, since it's the first thing that comes to mind and the thing I think about most now... Well, actually, not quite, but I'll explain that later. I've had no dance partner in any style for about two months now, and no latin partner for... around seven months, I believe. Now that summer is over and I'm done being an airhead and thinking about everything that doesn't really matter in life, I'm starting to think again about how in the world I'm going to get a dance partner in the middle of nowhere. This might be news for anyone who thinks Boston is somewhere because it's considered a big East-coast city and a goldmine of colleges - but in the world of ballroom, it's literally nowhere. At least, it feels that way to me. Now that I think about it, actually, there aren't very many somewheres in the world of ballroom. Where would I have to move in order to have a choice of possible dance partners, and a choice of different dance studios and teachers - in other words, where would I have more than one option of where to take my dancing? There seems to be only one such place in the US, and if there are more, please inform me! NY seems to be it - there are way more dance studios in NY than there are colleges in Boston. Where else? Well, probably London, some cities in Italy, Moscow, and, as I've heard recently, several cities in Ukraine, including my home city of Kharkov. There are probably a lot of other ones, but as I'm being self-centered and pursuing this chain of thoughts for my own reasons, I'm mainly concerned that NY seems to be the only good place in the US. Or maybe it's just the closest.

Where was I going with this? Actually, nowhere. I was just curious to see how many people would read that entire thing.

Anyway, now onto what I've really been thinking about most... Well, actually, I'm a tad bit superstitious and I'm going to wait until after it (hopefully) happens before I talk about it.

Stay tuned! I'm not done talking about my life yet :-P